Friends of the Janitor

A scrolling e-book

by Bill Krumholz

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   Minnesota Nice

Minnesota Nice

A pairing of image and text.
A study in perceptual realism.
A conceptual riff. An internet trope.
A parlor game. A puzzle. A joke.

A poke at the real world.

You decide.


 
   Ole Returns From IKEA      

Ole Returns From IKEA

 

Look Lena. Here are the instructions.

"Say hello to my little friends.
Look for their little faces.
Look for their dark little eyes.
Look for their tiny little mouths.
Maybe a nose, or mustache.
Find the face. Read the title.
Relate the two to a view.

Repeat."

 

Ya. OK then. I suppose.

So Lena . . . . why don't you go first.


 
      Inhale. Ex-hale.

   Inhale. Ex-hale.

Perception occurs as perspective pivots.

When pictures and words are united,
meta-perspectives appear.

Image and text should dance
with idea, execution, and chance.

Humor is used to increase
the scope and breadth of each piece.


 
      Altitude Attitude Aptitude Adjustments      

   Altitude Attitude Aptitude Adjustments

 

Change may result
from the smallest of movements.


Wordplay and I are kind of a thing.
Straining against a blocked metaphor.
Inserting facts and innuendo as needed.
Flush with pride over a job well done.
Go ahead. Take your time. Sit and think.

It's meditative.

Like Zen for Lutherans.

 


 
   Old Joe soaking in the hot tub.     

Old Joe soaking in the hot tub.

 

Friends of The Janitor is
an eccentric cast of characters.

Jokers, misfits, loners, and losers.

Some played their parts seriously.
Others were just being silly.

Several craved greater exposure.
Even, their unbridled big break.

For one it was the dawn
of a joy-filled new life.

For many it was the end
of their short-lived careers.


 
   Draw partner and I’ll fill you with lead.      

Draw partner and I’ll fill you with lead.

 

A wellspring of thoughts
may flow from one
source.

Multiple layers of meaning
can be drawn from
the same word, lead.

It leads a list of concerns
over the safety of our city
water infrastructure.

It taps into
Western movie lore,
male-pattern boldness,

and the American
gun culture.

For added measure,
You might raise a glass
to our lead character,

The Kitchen Sink.

 


 
   Urbane Terrorism     

Urbane Terrorism

 

Friends of The Janitor comments
on contemporary issues
such as terrorism, torture,
spousal abuse, domestic life,
cultural identity, vegetarianism,
race relations, religious fervor,
gods and demagogues, life, death,
the military, the government,
the aliens, the patriots,
the little folks,
and the American way.

 

 


 
   Throttle Control Issues     

Throttle Control Issues

 

Like metaphors gone wild.

Or some crazy,
clown-driven roller-coaster.

So walk, don't run.
Watch where you step.
Fasten your seat belts.
Keep your arms all inside.

And remember,

If my tongue isn't wagging
it'll be tucked in my cheek.

Enjoy the ride.  - Bill K.

 

 
  We will probe every alien.

We will probe every alien.

  What the neighbors will think.

What the neighbors will think.

  The hard proof of cross culture coexistence.

The hard proof of cross culture coexistence.

  For God and Gold and Goats and Glory we will follow and believe your story.    Down at the Mountain Top

For God and Gold and Goats and Glory
we will follow and believe your story.

Down at the Mountain Top

  Dark Knights of the Homeland

Dark Knights of the Homeland

  Nine Eleven Twenty Ten

Nine Eleven Twenty Ten

  Somebody’s eye opening solution.

Somebody’s eye opening solution.

  The people’s portion.

The people’s portion.

  I can change in a minute.

I can change in a minute.

  Manifest Destiny

Manifest Destiny

  Enter now these heavenly howls.

Enter now these heavenly howls.

  A huddled mass of wretched refuse.

A huddled mass of wretched refuse.

  A supple mental supplemental.

A supple mental supplemental.

  Like trolls on high knolls I like to make holes.

Like trolls on high knolls I like to make holes.

  Miscommunication kills.

Miscommunication kills.

  Sundry shades of black and white.

Sundry shades of black and white.

  Beads and bows and icicles.

Beads and bows and icicles.

  Church Whistle Blower

Church Whistle Blower

  A collusion of media.

A collusion of media.

  They’ll be up any minute and it'll start all over again.

They’ll be up any minute and it'll start all over again.

  The molding of pizza delivery.

The molding of pizza delivery.

  The young inventor became cross-eyed and a bit of a clown.    The spades of Ace

The young inventor became cross-eyed and a bit of a clown.

The spades of Ace

  Wage Rage

Wage Rage

  I sucked at the only job I ever had. Thank you for asking.

I sucked at the only job I ever had. Thank you for asking.

  The Brothers Grim

The Brothers Grim

  It wasn’t me!

It wasn’t me!

  Job security.

Job security.

  Social security.

Social security.

  I should spend more on my friends.

I should spend more on my friends.

  Real Squeal Meal Deal

Real Squeal Meal Deal

  I don’t mind the sacrifice.   I’d just like some respect.

I don’t mind the sacrifice.
I’d just like some respect.

  Was it as good for you as it was for me?

Was it as good for you as it was for me?

  Scream all you want, no one is listening.

Scream all you want, no one is listening.

  I got dem ol” back-burner blues again Mama!

I got dem ol” back-burner blues again Mama!

  Don’t worry Big Dada. It’ll be alright.

Don’t worry Big Dada. It’ll be alright.

  Phantom of The Darkroom

Phantom of The Darkroom

  You see me for who I really am.

You see me for who I really am.

  I hope to see you're a round.   I mean, you around.    My name is Sweetly Creepy.   I’m your neighbor.   I’m a clown.

I hope to see you're a round.
I mean, you around.

My name is Sweetly Creepy.
I’m your neighbor.
I’m a clown.

  I’m your biggest fan!   B  ut my eyes are up here.

I’m your biggest fan!
But my eyes are up here.

  My, what big ears you have.

My, what big ears you have.

  He left me f  or some hot little dish!    First  Wife of the Spoon

He left me for some hot little dish!

First  Wife of the Spoon

  Blue Jean puts on a happy face.

Blue Jean puts on a happy face.

  OK . . . .   Men are from Mars.    A  ny other hot flashes?

OK . . . . Men are from Mars.

Any other hot flashes?

  Sure, he’s an ass, but better me than his wife.    The Soft-Hearted Bar Stool

Sure, he’s an ass, but better me than his wife.

The Soft-Hearted Bar Stool

  Not just a knob hole.

Not just a knob hole.

  After the pleasure.

After the pleasure.

  We will not go easy, like deer in your sight, but as warriors, full-throated, our eyes wide open.

We will not go easy,
like deer in your sight,
but as warriors,
full-throated,
our eyes wide open.

 

 

 

 

 

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All Images ©2018 Bill Krumholz / SquirrelStock.com